Mammy: Always have one good woman friend

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Lucille and Eddie Brown on their wedding day, February 1936.

My maternal grandmother, we called her Mammy, was a woman of many opinions and action. One of her pearls of wisdom is resonating with me tonight, and I’ll share it with you.

Always have one good woman friend.

Well, truth be told, I’ve always been given to friendships with boys and men. I love them. They are straight forward and communication never leaves you guessing.

When Mammy imparted this gift to me, I assured her she was my woman friend. “It doesn’t work that way. You are not getting off that easy,” she said.

I’ve been friendly with women, but I watched my Mammy, too. A strong personality, she could easily be on the outs with any of her women friends, or family, at any given time. Her discipline was abusive, and her relationship with my mother was both difficult and complicated. All of that is another story.

Tonight, I count more than one woman my friend, but there’s been conjecture that I’m feuding with one because we don’t share the same opinion on a single topic.

We live in a society of disposable convenience. Not happy with a relationship? End it. There will be someone new.

That’s not how I operate. I feel things deeply. If you are my friend, you are my friend for the long haul. I am, however, discriminating. I know the difference between friendship and acquaintances. I have a few fine friends and many acquaintances. Either place you find yourself on my spectrum, I’m loyal and it takes more than a difference of opinion for me to walk away.

If you are looking for a cat fight, move along. There’s nothing to see here. If I do get riled up, you can expect to hear another of Mammy’s phrases, “You want me to show you how the cow ate the cabbage?”

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